It's Been Seven Days?


It's nearly midnight - i'm listening to a song by Lea Michelle, she wrote the song to remember her boyfriend Cory who died of a drug overdose. And i have just thought the worst thing in the history of the world. I thought that she is lucky - lucky that she has the knowledge he still loved her, worshipped her, wanted her when he died. She can wrap herself tight in that love.
I on the otherhand know that my husband doesn't love me and doesn't want me. To him i am nothing and all i can wrap up in is my sadness. I now i feel worse as i thought that truly horrible thing - as i know she would rather have him alive and hating her than dead and not.  But yet all i can feel is envy.
I am clearly a horrible nasty little person.